Merry Christmas

I want to publicly commend my boss, Bizzuka Inc CEO John Munsell for instructing us to refer to Christmas as Christmas and not the Holiday. Its sad that's a big deal. I'm sick and tired of being dictated to by the vocal  liberal minority. What about my rights as a Christian? Maybe it’s offensive to me to be told I can’t say Merry Christmas. How many of the enlightened class who don’t believe in Christ take the day off?  If it’s not your thing, show up for work on the 25th of December. How would African Americans react if they were told they couldn’t call MLK Day by its name, and to refer to it as ‘non-violence day’? If I was told I couldn’t say Veterans Day and had to call it ‘a holiday’ because it would offend the anti war crowd…well, we would have a problem. I challenge the 72% of Americans who do believe in Christ to proudly wish everyone a Merry Christmas and not a happy holiday. If your work dictates you not to say Christmas, do it anyway. If you are reprimanded or mistreated in anyway, fight back. File a law suit for having your First Amendment rights suppressed! Its funny how liberals often leave out the second sentence of the first amendment stating: "Congress shall make no law prohibiting the exercise of religion". We have been pushed around  for long enough.Stand proudly and be counted! Have a Merry Christmas!

The Salty Seller

Keep your friends close and your manager closer.

I know that sometimes we think our managers suck. Maybe they do, maybe they don’t. I've had managers in the past that I wanted to place under citizen’s arrest for being complete idiots. I've wondered how some even managed to get dressed in the morning? I'm going to guess they had a spread sheet with detailed instructions. Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.

Some managers have no business being where they are. Get over it.

The fact is, they are where they are and we are where we are. There's nothing we can do about that, no matter how much we may want to. What we can do is sell the hell out of our product. When you're out selling, not only do you make more money...you keep your job!

No one has a perfect work environment. If you do, please forward me your hiring manager’s phone number.

If things aren't perfect where you work, I am sure that you have a group of passive protesters lurking around. A sly group, these passive protesters . Do not fret. They are easily identified. At the beginning of the day they will be hanging out around the coffee pot, bitching about their morning commute, the husband, wife, children, even the coffee. More times the not, the complaints about the coffee are completely justified. During the morning meeting they will keep a straight face , but come 9:31, they're the first to give a passionate speech about how poorly everyone is treated, how terrible the corporate structure is, and how life just isn’t fair.

I know this because I've have been that guy. Sometimes rightfully so... Sometimes not.

If you're that guy or girl... Stop. If you're around that guy or girl... Walk away. All they will get you is fired.

Like it or not, we are influenced by the people with whom we surround ourselves. If you’re a golfer, you know exactly what I mean. You will often play to your competition. Meaning if you play with someone better than you, you will play better than normal. If however, you play with someone really bad, odds are you'll end up breaking a club or two.

As for the passive protesters, do you really want to be like them? I’ll go out on a limb and guess you don't. Misery loves company. And her parties suck!

I want to see everyone happy and doing well. I see the miserable people and wish they weren't. Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in others." Forget that! Be the change you want to see in YOURSELF!!! If you wallow in your own pity, you’ll become just that… Pitiful.

You know where you want to go. Go there. Don’t let a manager get in your way. Don’t let anyone get in your way. Stand up and be counted.

It’s a cold, cold winter outside. Jobs are tough to come by. If you have one, try and keep it. One sure fire way to do that is to close deals. Sell baby, sell! It’s hard to fire someone that makes you money. Even the worst of managers understands that. Or maybe they don't. Either way, don't waste your time crying about it or writing a blog in a coffee shop. No one cares. Just go sell something.

Pick up the phone.

I received an email yesterday from someone who was sitting about 15 feet from my office. My answer to the question in the email required a yes or no answer. After I sent my reply I wondered why they didn’t just walk over and ask me, or easier yet, just pick up the phone. It took about 10 minutes for them to write the email, send it, have me read it and send a reply. It would have taken 15 seconds or less if they had picked up the phone.

No one can argue that e-mail is a bad thing. It would be detrimental to my current success if I didn’t have it. But should it replace an actual conversation? When should you pick up the phone and call? I guess that depends on each situation and if you really want to talk to the person or not.

It seems like we are becoming a society of non-communicators. Text messaging is replacing phone calls. Online social networks are replacing happy hour. Blogging is replacing coffee pot rants… It’s just easier, I guess. But when did the easy way become the best way?

My Grandfather never sent an e-mail and is one of the most successful people I know of. He never had a cell phone either. How many of us feel like we couldn’t live without our cell phones. I had lunch with a colleague the other day and he never put his iPhone down. Neither did I, but you see where I’m going.

We are afraid that if we are not constantly connected we are going to miss something. We aren’t! If its important, they will leave a message. The next time you are about to send an e-mail to a client, consider calling them instead. They might actually like to hear from you.

Dress the part!

Do the clothes make the man? No, but they sure speak loudly.

Walk into a coffee shop and look around. See the guy with Birkenstocks, cut off shorts, hemp necklace and a huge smile? I wouldn’t have him do my taxes, but I bet he could score some great pot.

What about the guy in work boots, blue jeans, a flannel shirt with a tool belt on? I doubt he’s an authority on social networks, but I bet he can build one hell of deck.

The kid in the Birkenstocks could very well be the head of Students Against Marijuana and the guy in boots could be a webmaster...but I doubt it. You can’t always judge a book by it's cover...but it will usually give you an idea of what it’s about.

Romance novels have a picture of a shirtless guy with really long hair fighting a dragon. Mystery novels will have yellow crime scene tape and empty bullet casings on the pavement. Fantasy novels will have a picture of Barack Obama. Sorry...couldn’t resist (please don’t shut down my blog Big Brother).

The point is that your appearance says a lot about you. It's your first, first impression. When you walk into someones office, before you even open your mouth, you have been sized up by the potential client. It takes about 5 seconds.

Take advantage! Don’t spend the meeting trying to change their mind about you because you wore ratty shoes or because your shirt has a coffee stains on it from last week. This is when you should be selling your product or service.(This is one of the primary reasons I would avoid having tattoo's on your neck if you deal with decision makers on a daily basis.)

You don’t have to buy a $1,500 suit. Sometimes a 'big boy' suit can be a bad thing. It can be intimidating. Especially if you are calling on a local blue collar client. For eaxmple, I would never wear a tie during a first meeting with a local tire dealer. Half the staff might run out because they think you’re a cop, or even worse, the IRS.


Do you know that feeling you get when you drive a new car? You sit a little higher in the seat. When you look sharp and feel good about yourself, you just seem to walk a little bit taller. Strangely enough self confidence builds upon itself.


Give yourself an unfair advantage. Buy a three button black suit. Pick up a nice pair of shoes. I would suggest staying away from alligator skin and multi colors. Put on a freshly pressed white shirt with a sharp tie and hit the streets. I bet you sell something...

*** If you are a woman in sales, I have no advice whatsoever. I am no more qualified to give tips on ladies fashion that I am on giving sales advice…

Sell ME

My initial thoughts of a salesman (even now) is of a greasy haired, middle aged man...slightly over weight. A white dress shirt with a slight permanent sweat ring around the collar.

I imagine him knocking on my door on a sunny Saturday morning. He has a faded brown leather briefcase in his left hand. His smile when I open the door reminds me of the smile I give when I run into someone I really don't want to talk to. Basically as insincere as it gets.

With an outstretched hand he introduces himself as John from Johns Widgets Inc. Before I have the opportunity to tell him I have as many widgets as I can handle, he's started into his pre-scripted and well rehearsed speech of just exactly why I need his widget.

After 5 minutes of completely ignoring my obvious body language (screaming go-away) he asks if he can sit down and show me a brochure detailing the levels of widgetary he has available.He has that look on his face. You know the one... like a lost child, or a hungry dog begging for a treat.

You feel so bad telling him no. But you do anyway.I am a salesman... I am not John.

What makes me different from John and his widgets? For starters my widgets are invisible. I sell air. Radio advertising actually. News Talk, AM radio advertising to be precise.But that's not what makes me different from John...or any other salesman. What makes me different is that I have found the secret to sales. That's right. Its all right here for you in the next several paragraphs...and its free. (Another difference would also be that I wash my shirts and my hair.)

Here you go.

The secret to sales is simply believing in what you sell. Well, that's the first part of it anyway. You see, when you believe in what you sell, you don't need a pre-designed script. You don't have to start your conversation with "Hello, my name is ______________ and I have the solution to all your needs". That makes me want to throw up in my mouth. When you believe in what you sell, you can simply look someone in the eye, shake his or her hand and enthusiastically engage them in a CONVERSATION about how your product will enhance their life.

Notice I said conversation. Not talking at someone. That's what a scripted salesman sounds like. It sounds like someone is talking at me...not to me.

People buy from who they like. Correct? Who likes someone with a canned speech about the roto-wizard 3000? Well, that actually sounds interesting...but you get my drift. Especially in the economic state we live in today, people are wary of anyone or anything attempting to remove money from their hands and into someones pocket.

Now, more than ever, the relationship is vital. You don't have to close someone the first time you meet them. Slow and steady wins the race.Someone told me that I needed to slow down to speed up. I now know what that means.

So...If you are going on a sales call today, try this. Don't bring a pamphlet, don't bring a package. Just bring yourself. Sit down with your prospect and talk TO them. Get to know them. Find out what they need. Find out what they want. See if you have any tools that will help them get said wants and desires...and go from there.

Learn everything you want to know about someone on a golf course.

If you don't play golf, you should. If you are in sales and you don't play golf, you really should.

Golf is an intriguing sport. It's the only sport where you penalize yourself. In an era where it seems most athletes will do all they possibly can to break the rules and not get caught, the idea of calling a foul on yourself seems silly. Can you imagine T.O. catching a sideline pass and telling the referee he was out? Better yet, can you picture any basketball player handing the ball to the ref and telling him that he palmed the ball while his back was turned? Of course you cant! How is this relative to sales? Let me explain...

During the course of 18 holes, here is what you can expect to learn about your sales rep, or your client.

1. Patience.
Golf is a sport that demands you take your time. If you hurry a shot without weighing the risk and reward you will soon find yourself out of the game. Just ask Phil Michelson. Notice how your playing partner addresses each shot. See if he actually takes the time to evaluate the potential outcome. On the flip side, see if he (or she) takes way too long to hit. There is a thing called over analyzing. I mean...come on, unless you're at the Masters, there is no reason to take five minutes to hit a three foot put. Both of these scenarios can be used to evaluate how a person deals with day to day issues. Do they try to carry a shot 300 yards over water when they know good and well they can only hit 200? Or do they judge the wind, consult a golf swing book and then pace off a 20 yard pitch?

2. Cheater!
As I said before, golf is the only game where you call a penalty on yourself. An example being when you are in the rough, you cant move your ball. Some people will think its not that big of deal to move your ball a foot or so if its up against a tree. I mean...its just a foot...its just a game, right? To me, if you have no problem breaking an essential rule of the game, you will have no problem doing the same thing at work. There is no difference between a liar, a thief and a cheat. Need I say more?

3. Temper, Temper.
When I first started playing golf my father told me that there is nothing I can do about a previously hit shot. If I get mad, all I will accomplish is another poor shot...thus compounding the problem. This lesson was one of the hardest to learn. Little did I know that he was actually giving me a lesson in life. Now when a problem comes up, I take the time to see what I can do to correct it, rather than breaking a club over my leg. If you are playing with someone who pitches a fit reminiscent to a 3 year old, or an overpaid NBA player...imagine how they will deal with a mistake on your account.

These are just a few of the examples of how you can relate golf to sales or to life. I could go into the deeper psychology of the golf swing in comparison to motivational drive...but seeing how I just made that up....it probably wouldn't make much sense.

In closing, I hope you take this with you. Play golf like you live your life. Or better yet, live your life the way golf is designed to be played.

Anger vs. Apathy

I opened a fortune cookie last night that read, “Discontent is the first step towards greatness”. Please note it also gave me seven lucky numbers that to my surprise were not winners. But it made me think. At what point does my discontent actually produce positive results?It depends on how you view discontent. If making one sale per day doesn’t quench my thirst for the close, then yes, discontent absolutely produces results. Assuming I increase my sales.

What about anger?

Show me an irate running back, and I will show you a potential 100 yard rusher. Anger is an emotion that if managed correctly can be channeled into drive, motivation or better yet…desire. Give me a furious sales rep, and I will in turn give you an award winner.

When you are angry about something, that lets you know one thing for sure: You care. When you care about something, you have that internal yearning to make it better. That’s AWESOME. Give me a room full of angry sales reps, and let’s go take on the world.

Apathy on the other hand…well…that’s not so good. Look at a room full of apathetic sales reps and you will probably find a ton of very detailed MySpace pages, complete Facebook accounts and maybe a very insightful blog or two…

Apathy is death to any organization, but none quite as much as a sales force. When a sales rep no longer cares about the product he or she is selling its time for that person to go.In some cases that’s a good thing. God knows there are sales reps out there that need to ‘move it on down the road’. One bad apple can spoil a bunch… one salty sales rep can spoil a floor just as easily. The term misery loves company actually has some truth to it.

What about good sales reps that become apathetic? What about great sales reps? I know for sure that it’s easier to prevent apathy than then to reverse it. Obviously that’s easier said than done.

I cannot buy into the sales coaches, motivational speakers and managers who try to pump you up all the time with catchy phrases and clichés. It’s sort of like a bad motivational poster. Nothing screams ‘leader’ like walking into a manager’s office and seeing a poster of a majestic Bald Eagle with the word Ambition typed in bold below it. You might as well have Stewart Smalley standing in the corner holding up a mirror for you.

A manager doesn’t have to be so far up a salesperson’s back side that he knows what they had for dinner last night, but he does have to care. You have to care about the people you manage. You have to care about the product they sale. You have to care about the success of your people. YOU HAVE TO CARE!

Is it so surprising that the companies who treat their employees well get great results? Look at Apple, Microsoft or Google. What do these companies have in common? Aside from being in the tech sector, they all treat their employees very well. In return, their employees will run through walls for them.

To whom much is given, much is expected. To whom little is given much is expected. To whom you beat down with your pompous cane until they are nothing more than a bloody pulp and starting to smell…I wouldn’t expect too much.

In closing, this one is for all the sales managers out there. Try this: Engage your reps today. Talk to them. Find out what they’re having problems with. Find out what they are having great success with. Help them build on the current success and push through the problems. We all know it rolls down hill. But if apathy prevents you from deflecting a little bit of ‘it’ from hitting your sales people, it’s eventually going to pile up and you will find yourself swimming in ‘it’ – with an apathetic sales staff.